How Would President Trump Deal with the Devil?

The latest episode of UNSoNG includes the following: “I remember seeing a video … of the President's summit with the Devil.” I then wondered what possible future President Trump (I'm not counting him out yet) might say about such a deal:

I was talking to Satan the other day… Great guy but a complete loser. He had the cushiest job in Heaven but talked back to God and BAM! got evicted.

So I went to Hell. People keep telling me to go there. Complete dump. Most of it too hot and the rest waaay to too cold. I made an offer to Satan. Make me President and I'll open a really classy casino with better ventilation and also a Cadillac dealership. The Niven–Pournelle guidebook says Cadillacs belong in Hell. I'll even make God pay for it. Satan was so grateful, he promised to invent three more deadly sins in my honor!