We're All Contaminated!
According to the latest hysterical news:
Their results show that Western Europe is likely to be contaminated about once in 50 years by more than 40 kilobecquerel of caesium-137 per square meter. According to the International Atomic Energy Agency, an area is defined as being contaminated with radiation from this amount onwards.Wait a moment… If there are 4 ppm of uranium and 12 ppm of thorium in the Earth's crust and if I did the arithmetic right, there are around 70 kilobecquerel of actinides in the top millimeter of each square meter of ordinary ground.
The Earth is contaminated! WE MUST EVACUATE AT ONCE!