The Great Minds Training the Next Generation

A hoplophobic teacher tried to ban pencils (seen via View from the Porch):

The memo explained that students would be issued a pencil that would be collected at the end of the school day, for use in class. It asked parents to discuss the rules with students over the weekend and to be sure they did not bring contraband writing implements into class.

………

The teachers’ memo explained that the change was being made because of behavior problems and indicated that any student found in possession of a pen or mechanical pencil after Nov. 15 would be “assumed” to have the implement “to build weapons,” or to have “stolen” it from the classroom art supply basket.

The really astounding part is that the school administration actually showed some sense:

A letter banning the possession of anything but a school-issued No. 2 yellow pencil in sixth-grade classes at North Brookfield Elementary School “went over the line,” the school superintendent said yesterday. The letter that was sent home indicated teachers were dealing with a discipline problem and believed the ban would address the issue.

In a related story…

Some years ago, a teacher broke new ground in the treatment of antonyms:

Pink's story reminds me of a tale that made the rounds of the Mensa
newsletters back when, concerning a kid who brought home a paper marked
wrong by the teacher. The question was "What is the opposite of frog?"
The incensed parent challenged the teacher, claiming that there is no such
thing as the opposite of frog, whereupon the teacher in the haughtiest
possible manner informed the parent that the opposite of frog is tadpole.

Most people I've asked say the opposite of “frog” is “gorf,” but a few say it's “anti-frog.”