How to Confuse a Pollster

If a pollster is trying to correlate the oppositions to abortion, capital punishment, and torture, maybe you could say, “As a pro-lifer, I don't approve of capital punishment; I think torture is far more appropriate for some crimes.”

I was inspired by a recent poll causing self-congratulation in some quarters. After all, if liberals agree with themselves more than anybody else does, that MUST mean they're right!

Meanwhile, Classical Values (with their own torture poll) might start another torture poll:

Maybe I should update the Classical Values Torture Poll, and ask readers which punishment should be applied to spoofed Caller ID telemarketing spammers.

Can we at least waterboard them?