Yet another weird SF fan


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Yet another weird SF fan
 

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

I'm Trying to Start an Original Conspiracy Theory

After reading Top 10 Wackiest Conspiracy Theories, I thought I'd try to invent one. This is an improvement on orbital mind control lasers.

Orbital mind control lasers aren't putting thoughts into our heads; orcas are.

Many of the scientists investigating orcas have noticed apparent incidents of telepathy. The scientist would think “orca go that way” and the orca would go that way, i.e., thoughts apparently went from human to orca. The same evidence might instead mean the reverse. The orca decided to go somewhere and projected that decision into the human's mind. (The “telepathic” incidents usually revolve around thoughts that popped into the scientist's mind for no real reason.)

If orcas can project thoughts, they might project thoughts that are good for them and not for us. This conflict may have ecological roots. Humans have longer life spans in industrialized countries (at least rich capitalist ones). Orcas may be more pollution sensitive. Environmentalism may be good for orcas but not for us.

This explains the distribution of liberalism in the U.S. Coastal areas are more liberal because they are in range of the orca influence. The Southeast was an exception because it was less industrialized and less of a threat.

If I start a new conspiracy theory, can I get royalties?

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